Paradise
Hotel Recap with Pictures from Episode 19
Week 11, Monday 08-25-03 Hotel
Paradizzle.
The beginning of the end continues. Pamper the ladies
week.
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the thumbs below
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Well... I do have to say that this Monday’s episode
was one of the better Paradise Hotels in a while. Very
entertaining. Despite a few awkward feeling “hokey
paradizzle moments”, the show was fun to watch.
It is winding down to the end of the series, or in Paradizzle
speak “the beginning of the end”. Since this
show is in its first season we really do not know what
to expect for the end. And what exactly is the ultimate
prize thang they have been so vague about?
First off I have to point out that I
was completely aghast at the end of this episode when
they teased the
upcoming Wednesday night show and stated that “Zack
is back”. Huh? What the f*ck! No way!
There
must be some kind of twist as they couldn’t
really be bringing back that guy I was so happy to see
leave??? Bad enough all the black and white Zack flashbacks...
He’s not really coming back... or is he?
I guess we’ll just have to wait till we tune in
Paradise Hotel on Wednesday to find out exactly what
they have up their sleeves. But in the meantime let’s
go over what happened in episode 19...
Tonight’s Episode...
Undramatic Voice Over Gal
“Due
to some sexual content, parental discretion is advised.”
OK... that means get ready for some pixelated butt cracks.
Dramatic Voice Over Guy
Previously on Paradise Hotel
Alex, Dave, Amy and Tara competed for the title of King
and Queen of paradise through a sexy swimsuit competition
and debate.
The campaigning intensified.
And
Tara and Dave were crowned King and Queen. In a twist
they discovered that they had paradise’s
ultimate power... they were to decide which Lady would
check out of paradise.
Amy made a shocking plea to be the one eliminated.
The king and queen paired up the guests as roomies.
Tom with Desiree. Keith with Holly. Alex with Charla.
Only Amy and Kristin were left.
Who will it be... Kristin was eliminated.
Amy
rooms with Scott. Amy starts to bitch. Will she leave
too? But no, Amy stays in the end.  
Kristin
leaves with one last low blow - a backhanded insult
for Dave and Tara. Like they really feel sorry for
dumping you. Not!
Tonight is the beginning of the end.
And
now for tonight’s episode.
As we tune in the guests are going to their new room
assignments.
Holly
wiggles and giggles as she walks up to the room with
Scott. She is so sophisticated that Holly, but ya gotta
love her!
Dave
talks to the camera. He tells us that it is the morning
after eviction (bye bye Kristin) and that new roommates
are moving in together. He tells us that he and Tara
elected
to
have Alex move in with Charla.
Alex
and Charla
hate each other. More like they love to hate each other.
Have you ever been attracted to someone you hated?
It hurts so good as to quote the infamous John Cougar
Mellonball. Sorry, couldn't resist.
Charla
asks “why am I scared?” as
she wheels in her luggage anticipating a week with
Alex as her roomie. I'd say she's scared because she
is afraid that she'll end up enjoying it when Alex
wakes her in the middle of the night dry humping her
leg. Or something like that.
 
Alex
breaks the ice with Charla and presents her with a
box of press on nails as he unpacks. Charla is actually
laughing that he would be so bold. That was actually
a funny moment. See - Charla likes to hate him.
We see a flashback of Alex saying, “I’m
not going to lie to you. I don’t like Charla that
much”.
Charla
starts complaining and calls room service asking for
some champagne. Maybe a little booze will loosen her
up to Alex. Ya see I think Charla is so frustrated
sexually that she is afraid she'll let a man take advantage
of her... and gosh forbid that it would be Alex of
all people that penetrate her crotch armour. At least
not on network tv.
Dave
comes in and Alex leaves. They discuss what Tara and
Dave did as king and queen - evict Kristin and such.
Charla acts like she is understanding. Charla requests
that
Dave
go
get
Tara
to come and console her about being stuck with Alex.
Keith
tells the camera that Dave didn’t
pair him up a 3rd week with Charla because he was afraid
that
he and Charla were getting too close. Duh! Tara must
have felt the same way as she seems to have a thing
for Keith... but then again it may just be that Tara
is going without the sex release like all the other
Paradizzle guests (except for Scott and Holly who may
actually
be gettin' some in the shower or under those giant
stacks of pillows and hidden away under the sheets).
There may
be
a reason
that
Scott
is so calm and collected...
Tara
visits Charla. Charla complains about being stuck with
Alex. Tara tells Charla that she likes Alex.
Charla
is drinking pretty heavy. Putting on a show for the
paradizzle cameras. Woo hoo - poor Charla. So horny
and stuck with Alex as a roomie. Boo hoo.
Amy and Scott discuss their situation.
The guests eat a meal together. But suddenly the sun
is going down and the couples come out and sit on the
sofa.
Host
Amanda tells them that there is always a surprise at
every turn here in paradise...
today’s surprise is...
a commercial break will interrupt us from finding out
the surprise...
OK, where were we...
There is always a surprise at
every turn here in paradise...
 
The surprise
is – no more new
guests checking in to the hotel. Gasps! Shock! Wow!
This week the guys are in jeopardy. At the end of the
week the 5 women of paradise will vote to decide which
guy will be leaving.
And
you know what that means... This will be suck up to
the ladies week at Hotel Paradizzle.
Keith
is telling Dave and Charla that Scott must be the first
to go over Alex. Smart theory actually as everyone
secretly hates Alex and admires that Scott is boning
Holly. Charla takes it all in but is likely having
a daydream about
Alex's
shaven naked butt taunting her... or something like
that.
It’s
time to see the ladies getting empowered... Tara makes
a request to see some bare booty and soon we see a
pixelated blur
jump into the pool. My guess is it was a naked Tom. The
ladies high five each other. They taunt Keith to jump
in pixelated but he says he is afraid... afraid to jump
in with a naked Tom... C'mon Keith - they're going to
pixelate your butt anyways - jump in naked! But he
holds firm. After all - Keith aint no homo.
Soon
all are frolicking in the pool (not nude of course).
Alex and Tara are playing an ice cube kissing
game.
Charla
is
the
only one not in the pool having fun. Instead she is laying
in a reclining chair and looking all grumpy. She doesn't
like it that all of the guests are having fun when
she is so emotional and disturbed about her roommate
situation (and not having a release since being at
the blotel).
Ice
cube games ensue. Soon Holly and Desiree are getting
spit on the cubes and passing it along. A drunk Holly
is taunting Alex with Tara as they do a three way ice
cube
sucking
scene for all to enjoy.
Charla
is disgusted (and turned on at the same time of course!).
Charla says they’re
acting stupid as Tom listens. He barely blinks as Charla
talks
trash. But hey she's drunk and not making much sense
anyways... Just smile and pretend you're listening.
With the women in charge how far will the men go to
stay in paradise?
More
frivolity between Alex, Holly and Tara. Charla says “they’re
crazy” and “I’d
never do that”. Grainy black and white flashbacks
reveal Charla in various compromising situations....
Charla and Scott... Zack and Charla... Pure sweet Charla.
Exposed to this immoral behavior. And she is so horny.
How could they taunt her like that?
Alex,
Holly and Tara are off to the black room for some more
PG-13 shenanigans. Hope they have an ice bucket inside
so they can continue with their spit swapping ice cube
game.
Alex
is on the bed with the girls. Makeout session ensues
but suddenly Scott barges in on them. They act like
nothing much is happening - just a friendly share the
spit cube game. Wanna join in Scott? He is watching
them play pass the ice cube and suddenly Holly
is passing
Scott
a cube. Alex mutters “Kristin who?” as he
no doubt feels like the real king of paradise. Who's
your daddy! As soon as he came, Scott is gone and back
out by the pool. Uh, remember this is network tv.
Scott
is teasing Charla that her roomie Alex is making out
with Tara.
 
We
see Tara and Alex in a grainy low light
blur and in a moment of immaturity Alex says “my
hand is on Tara’s butt”. And quite a nice
butt at that... those tiny shorts sure are tantalizing...
in a PG-13 kind of way... Tara appears to be pretty drunk
but maybe she’s
just a fine little game player as she taunts Alex
on the bed. Tara
realizes
that they
are
being filmed and says put the covers over us and
lets go to sleep. Hmmm... Don't do that - we wanna
see that
shapely skinny butt of yours gettin' squeezed. But
hey this is network TV after all.
Wouldn't
it be cool if this were an HBO program and we'd get
treated to some real action without the pixelation
or fast edits? I stink so.
Suddenly
it’s
breafkast time and the gang is talking
about Alex and Tara’s wild behavior
last night. Tara says “there’s nothing wrong
with making out". Mommy don't care if I swap spit. Too
bad for Alex - he must not have really gotten' any.
Just some teasey feels from Tara. Well, better than a
poke in the eye with a sharp stick I reckon'.
The
producers probably have instructed the guests not to
have real sex (release, errrr... um... ya know - orgasms)
as the sexual tension would make for a better show.
That's just
my
theory.
Desiree
gets a note from the butler dude. It says that tonight
there will be a very special Pandora’s Box – ladies
choice – the men will not be asking questions,
only the ladies.
The
women gather in thier little groups... Charla and Desiree
discuss who should be sent home. They come
to the conclusion of deciding between Alex
and Scott. The girls do a pinky swear pact. They appear
to be best buddies.
Alex
and Amy are talking trash about the others... rather
Alex is talking it to Amy who is remarkably quiet.
She just nods a lot.
Alex proclaims that he thinks he is going home. He thinks
it will be either him or Scott. It’s all up to
the girls.
The
guys get a letter from the Blotel Paradise butler dude.
Alex reads it aloud. The guys will get the spa facilities
to pamper and massage the ladies and stuff. After all
it's suck up to the ladies week...
   
Suddenly
we are watching the boys pamper the ladies. Pedicures,
painting nails, foot massages and such. You know -
all the things guys will usually never voluntarily
do to their girlfriends... You can almost smell the
scented massage oils and aromatherapy candles. Dave
is working on Amy. Alex busts
out
the press on
nails
for
Charla. Ass kissing ensues. Feeding food to the ladies.
Keith says women should always be pampered like this.
He is so sincere that Keith. You almost believe him.
Desiree
and Tara listen as Charla tells the gang it is Scott
or Alex that must go and that she trusts Scott more.
No! Big surprise. Charla has it in for Alex.
Soon
we see Scott asking Tara if there is a conspiracy against
him. Tara says no but isn’t too convincing.
She stumbles and Scott can tell. But Tara tells Scott “you
don’t
have to worry - at least not with me”.
Charla
tries to convince Keith that Alex is the one to go.
Keith is not happy and says that Charla is retarded.
It takes a big man to say "you're retarded".
He insists that you have to get rid of the top dog
and that he
is putting
his
foot
down.
He
tells
her
she has
to take Scott down and Charla says OK, knowing that
she doesn't see eye to eye with Keith.
It’s
time for the ladies edition of pandora’s
box. Embarrassing questions and tight rope walking.
Dave – you
have admitted that you know that Keith is deliberately
kissing your ass... Drama. Keith says he is
not kissing anybody’s ass. Dave says he does not
remember saying that. He does his best politician impersonation
and tries to weasel out of that one.
Who
does Tom trust the most? Tom says he trusts Amy the
most. Desiree flinches.
Dave
gets probed about not being as close to Charla as he
was before. Awww... poor Dave... Put on the spot about
Charla... He was hurt by that one but stumbles his
way through fielding
the question.
Who
would Scott pick? Scott says he’d pick Holly
if he had to pick one girl. Black and white flashbacks
of dry humping and suggestive tease dialogue.
Keith
as to whether he would pick from Charla and Tara...
Keith says he'd pick Charla. Tara wants to know why.
He weasels around saying that he is real close to Charla.
Hmmm... drama.
Alex says he trusts Desiree and Holly the most.
  
Host
Amanda appears. The ladies will have to pick one man
to be safe from elimination tomorrow night. The ladies
congregate in a room and discuss their thoughts as the
guys enjoy cocktails at the bar. The girls surprisingly
embrace
Amy's suggestion
of giving immunity to Scott or
Alex. They
come back and vote.
No,
it's not arts & crafts night at Hotel Paradizzle...
they're voting!
 
The ladies will now announce the dude
with immunity. It’s Scott. Shock. Surprise.
Scott is feeling great. He thanks the ladies.
The
mood is somber. One of the guys will soon get voted
off and it will not be "top dog" Scott.
Dave and Keith discuss it. Keith says it is fine. So
whatever.
 
Dave and Charla discuss it. She says
blame me that it’s
Scott.
Tara
tells Keith Charla threw her a curve.
 
Dave
and Charla visit Keith. Charla says she feels bad.
Right! Charla does not feel bad but kisses up.... She
wants Alex to go - not Scott. Their alliance is under
starin.
You’ll
have to tune in to the next episode to find out who
is eliminated. End of episode. Teaser for next episode.
But wait – they tease that
Zack is back on Paradise Hotel. What? That sucks.
But
if I can venture to guess... I would say Zack will
not be permanently rejoining the guests. He better
not! Hopefully
it will just be just one more bad Zack cameo and
that’s
it. You know – he’ll diss a few peeps
and then go on his merry way. That is the best case
scenario.
Worst case Zack actually stays and if that happens
I will be disappointed. As will you no doubt... We'll
just have to tune in and see...
Paradise
on Fox
Paradise Hotel's Official Site
Have
you read the previous recap for last Wednesday's episode?
Episode 18 recap Weds. 8-20-03
Bikini
Day Ranks the Guests of Paradise Hotel Past & Present
Be
sure to bookmark us so you can come back and see
what shit we sling at the Paradise Hotel guests in
episode recaps to come!
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